I realized I wanted to clarify a few things I neglected to say in my post last night.
I realized I wanted to explain that I’m very much a one girl kind of guy, if I get into something with someone, I think it’s always going to be serious, to some extent, that’s just how I am.
I guess I don’t take these things lightly, for one reason or another. I feel like polygamous relationships maybe wouldn’t feed my need
for security to feel part of something, I mean something special, part of an insular unit, a partnership of two people facing the world together. And, you know, like I’m not alone in the world, and to feel needed, and share something with someone, to somehow have true intimacy.
I guess I could summarize the topics here: (and end up rambling again, oops!)
I think what I crave most is intimacy
Not sexual gratification, though that would be nice, but simple intimacy. Holding someone, having them hold me back, the comforting closeness of another body pressed against your own, a sense of shared life in that moment, a kind of unity.
Actually, although obviously I’m talking about the physical (and emotional) intimacy between lovers, I guess I’m quite a physical, tactile, kinesthetic person in general. I mean, I go up to my family and hug them all the time, or I’ll put a hand on their shoulder as I ask them how they are, that kind of thing. I guess, for some reason, I connect with people in that way, almost like reassuring myself of their, and my own, existence haha :p But no, there is something strangely comforting about that contact with another human being. Sometimes even if you don’t know them very well, you can still have some kind of strangely profound moment of connection.
Anyway, like a lot of people, I love hugs haha :D Well, from the right people! I really like it when someone hugs you and you feel like they really mean it, it’s not just a quick clinical wrapping of arms but a proper embrace!
Goodness this has been a sappy, rambling post! I think I should go to bed :D
Oh but before I do, amusing thing happened today, my mother picked up a history of Lingerie for me from a church secondhand shop haha! It’s called ‘Whalebone to See-Through: A history of Body Packaging.’ Which is surely one of the more amusing titles I’ve ever read, well, the body packaging bit.
Actually that reminds me, a friend of mine told me once about this game he played at a party, where you have to come up with imagined titles for books (especially famous ones I think) which the publishers might have turned down by using synonyms or closely related words in exchange for the real words in the title. And so I came up with this one: Pubic Mound for, of course, that infamous illustrated erotic novel Fanny Hill! Rather good yes? haha :p
Sorry, such gratuitous silliness!
Goodnight my darlings :)
p.s. Hugs to you all!
I just want someone to kiss right now. Then cuddle and nap with, staying in bed and lounging with all day. I can survive without sex; it’s the intimacy I can’t live without.